I'm sure you've noticed that I haven't been posting as much recently.
That's partly because I've been very busy, but also because there isn't
that much to tell right now. While I certainly want to document my
personal and spiritual growth here, I don't want it to turn into a "Dear
Diary, this is what I did today." Nobody cares about that but me. And
I've never been one to narrate my life online.
The biggest
reason is that I just haven't had ideas for posts. Much like
songwriting, I'm stuck until I get an idea. Once I have an idea, I'm off
to the races. I can honestly say that in all my years of being in
creative work, I've always been able to come up with an idea when I
really needed one. There's never been a case in 29 years of my career
where I've needed to come up with an idea to meet a deadline, and no
idea came. If you have trouble coming up with ideas, you shouldn't be in
creative work.
One of my dad's closest friends, Jerry Sherrow,
is a very funny, quick witted guy. Once my dad asked him how he came up
with all of those funny things to say, and he said, "Nelson, I don't say
half of the things I think of." That's what it's like being a creative
type, especially in comedy. More jokes occur to you than you should say
out loud. I've gotten myself in trouble many times by blurting out a
joke without thinking.
But there are such things as dry spells
too. I've mentioned before that I have six albums of original music out,
but my last full album release was in 2009. I've been asking myself if
I'd like to put out one more album, but I have no ideas, and no
motivation. What I'm motivated to do is write this journal. I told a
friend last week that I feel like I'm retiring as a musician and
beginning a new career as a writer. I have very little enthusiasm for
the musical projects I have going right now, but I can't wait to write
my next blog post. If I have an idea that I'm excited about, that is.
I've
had some very meaningful conversations with friends lately. Some are
ongoing. I reconnected yesterday with someone who is as dear to me as
just about anyone I can think of. She had no clue about my condition,
which made our conversation a difficult one, but it means the world to
me to bring her into this circle. One day soon, I want to talk about her
and her family, and the impact they've had on my life.
I got a call from my
oncologist's office yesterday. He discussed my case with the board of
experts that I told you about in my post, "A Strategy." On the 24th, I
meet with a radiation oncologist to discuss possible radiation
treatments. On March 1st, I'll meet with my oncologist again, get my
next Lupron shot, and we'll decide how to proceed from there.
After
that appointment, I should have a clearer picture of what the future
looks like. I may have a prognosis at that time. If I do, I'll share it
with you. And I won't wait until I have a catchy idea before I do.
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