Memoir

It occurs to me that this journal is actually turning into a memoir of sorts. Yes, I'm keeping you updated about my treatment and issues related to my cancer, which was the original purpose of it. But I'm also talking about a lot of other things, as you well know if you read this journal. I'm sure most other cancer blogs are much more exciting than mine. People in the hospital fighting for life, etc. And here I am talking about dogs, cats, and hamburgers.

I never thought I'd write a memoir. Who'd want to read it? The six people who know me? Of course I realize that if it wasn't for the cancer, I wouldn't be writing this and you wouldn't be reading it. A memoir or autobiography is a pretty self indulgent exercise for anyone, even if you're a celebrity or world leader with millions of people who want to read about your life. But for a regular person like me, it's very self centered. So one of the things I want to do here, and have been trying to do, is balance talking about myself with talking about the people in my life. It's them that I really want you to know about.

So here's today's health update. My weight has been 126 the last two days. I had a sobering conversation with a doctor friend of mine this week, and he expressed concern that I may not be getting the treatment I need. I made an appointment with my GP for Thursday, January 7th. He only sees Medicaid patients on Thursdays, but I can live with that. I'm very glad he takes Medicaid, so at least I can keep my GP. I'll discuss with him then what my strategy should be going forward. Should I continue with a urologist and the Lupron treatments, or should I go with an oncologist to supervise my overall care, or both? My old urologist doesn't take Medicaid, which is fine with me. I want a new doctor regardless.

I've been really bad about talking about people in this journal without getting their permission first. I'm gonna really try to do that in the future. One post I want to write soon will be titled, "It Doesn't Go Without Saying." The phrase "It goes without saying" has started to bother me lately. When I hear someone say that now, I want to say, "No, it doesn't! Whatever good thing, whatever blessing you think goes without saying, say it before it's too late. It doesn't go without saying."

In that upcoming post, I want to pay tribute to some people who have meant a lot to us recently. Because those things don't go without saying. But I'll get your permission first before I do.

Thanks again for checking in! I know you want to know about my cancer, but I appreciate the fact that you're interested in my memoir.