That classic line from the last scene of It's A Wonderful Life keeps
coming back to me. George Bailey's brother comes back from the war, and
toasts his big brother George, "the richest man in town." We all know
the story, and we know George Bailey wasn't rich by monetary standards.
He was rich in love and friendships. After this past Christmas weekend,
that's how I feel. Like the richest man in town. I'm not rich by
monetary standards either. These days, just the opposite. But I am rich
because I am loved.
I'm no George Bailey. I'm not a saint who's
spent his entire life thinking only of others and making sacrifices for
them. But the whole town is coming out to help me anyway. That's what
you call grace.
We spent the last
three days with close friends. But this time, there were no speeches. I
had no prepared remarks for them. We just wanted to be together. I
expected to be, as I put it in an earlier post, "an emotional puddle of
goo" for the entire holiday season. But Christmas was different from
Thanksgiving or other recent gatherings since my diagnosis. Everyone we
saw was fully briefed on everything, so there was no real need to "go
there" much.
I feel like
I'm coming down from the emotional high I was on for so long. And that's
a good thing. When you're flying high, you can fall a long way. I'd
rather be even keel than up and down, and it feels like I'm getting back
there. Probably another sign of the Lupron fading, but I'm sure it's
also just the natural ebb and flow of emotions.
I did have one
bad emotional moment this morning, though. I was trying to take our dog to the vet. He's old, and has bad hips, so he has a hard time
jumping up into my Rav4. So I open the garage door for him to give him
more running room. This morning, the leash slipped out of my hand and he ran away. I chased him, literally screaming for him to come back,
but he wouldn't. He was scared to jump in the car. If not for the fact
that his leash got caught in a crack in the curb, I might not have been
able to catch him. But I did manage to get him back, thank God. I
was so shaken, I cried almost all the way to the vet. If not for the
Lupron in my system, I would still have been very upset of course, but
not in tears. So it is still affecting me, hopefully in good ways too.
One
friend in particular really made me feel loved this weekend by showing a
desire to protect me. That meant more to me than I can possibly say. I
hope you know who you are.
I'm probably the only person I know
who can say I lost weight over Christmas weekend. I weighed 125 this
morning and Saturday morning. It seems like any time my normal eating
pattern is broken up, I lose weight. I thought I ate a lot this weekend.
But I got a lot of great chocolate for Christmas, so I'll make it up!
Some of the problem might be the fact that I'm so active when we host
people. It's a lot of work, so I'm probably burning more calories on
those days.
This has
been a life changing year, obviously. Unless something comes up, I think
my next post will be a look back on this past year. We all tend to do
that at this time of year, but for me, 2015 has been one for the books.
My
final proof that I'm the richest man in town is the fact that you're
reading this journal right now. The fact that so many care about
anything I have to say is a miracle. The fact that so many more care
what happens to me is more than I can wrap my head around. You probably
have a bigger bank account, but I'm the richest man in town.
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