Thursday, February 15, 2018

My Sharon

Many people ask about my Sharon. In the comments of almost every post recently, someone asks how she is doing. So I think I should tell you about her, and how she's handling all of this. The short answer is, she's handling it brilliantly. That's what she does. Let me tell you about my Sharon.

My Sharon is a towering figure of strength. I've rarely seen her cry about this. She's taken it in stride much as I have. There's a reason we're so well matched. Nothing much fazes us. Yes, there have been times when she's broken down. But it's only happened once in my presence. She saved her emotional outbursts for when I wasn't around. She didn't want to put that on me. I wish I could say the same for myself.

In comments on Facebook, I get a lot of "poor Sharon" reactions. Her response to that is, "It's not poor Sharon now. Later, it will be poor Sharon." She's tough.

My Sharon is still hot at 61 years old. Not just to me, but to everyone. Will anyone dispute me on this? I doubt it. If you do, you're blind. Here's what you don't know, unless you know her very well. She isn't naturally thin, like I am. She has kept her figure all these years through discipline.

My Sharon makes amazing meals like this in ten minutes without even trying.

We eat meals like this at least two or three times a week. You should be here when she decides to "fancy it up," as she would put it. She eats and cooks very healthy, and has for decades. This is a big reason why I'm doing as well as I am, because she has fed me so well over the years.

I used to be a big help in the kitchen, and I still clean the kitchen every morning, but I used to help her a lot with "food prep." Not so much anymore. Now, my Sharon does it all herself so I can save my strength.

My Sharon is good at math, which is a wonderful thing, because I am not. She's downstairs paying our bills right now, bless her heart. If that was up to me, I'd probably be in prison for some math error.

My Sharon retired from her job of 25 years to stay home with me during this long journey. I've been very busy, and have left her home alone a lot, I'm afraid. I will soon leave her home alone permanently. But she understands my need to mentor and be with people. We spend at least a couple days a week at home hanging out, just us and our pets. While I meet with many others, there is no one I'd rather spend time with than my Sharon.

My Sharon has already, to a large extent, done her grieving. I watched her go through the stages of grief; Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and she arrived at acceptance some time ago. She's had counseling, which was very helpful. But now, she doesn't think she needs it as much anymore, and has cut back her therapy to every other week instead of every week. I still need mine every week.

My Sharon faces this as fearlessly as I do. This is a blessing I do not take for granted.

My Sharon has a plan for her future without me. She's has floor plans drawn up for a place she'll have built, and will sell this big house as soon as she can. Property values in our neighborhood, and in the whole city of Denver, are sky high. That will help her.

My Sharon has cultivated a group of friends who will support her and be there for her. With those people around her, and with the financial security she'll have from the sale of this house and the insurance money, she won't just be fine after I'm gone, she'll be awesome.

Of course she will mourn my loss and miss me. But as I said, most of her grieving is already done. If you're afraid she might fall apart when I die, you don't know my Sharon.

I am attracted to strong, independent women. There are none stronger or more independent than she is. She will take my death in stride, like she has everything else. She is strong, smart, independent, beautiful, talented, and organized.

How is she doing? She's not just dealing with this as well as could be expected, she's dealing with it better than anyone could expect. Anyone but me, that is. Because I know my Sharon. She's got this. She is strong, and will only get stronger. That's how she's doing. That's my Sharon. #waroncancer #bearingwitness


  1. Mark, what a beautiful tribute to Sharon.

  2. How powerful to have a wife who will take your dying in stride! That implies you're both doing a heck of a lot of Living and Loving in these days that remain!

  3. You two amaze me. Thank you for your witness. It helps me every day. Love, Scott

  4. Thank you, Mark for letting us know how Sharon is doing. You are so lucky to have her with you now. We admire you both so much. Love, Jenny and Jamie

  5. I am glad you wrote this post, but let her know I will continue to pray for her.