The biggest reason is that I just haven't had ideas for posts. Much like songwriting, I'm stuck until I get an idea. Once I have an idea, I'm off to the races. I can honestly say that in all my years of being in creative work, I've always been able to come up with an idea when I really needed one. There's never been a case in 29 years of my career where I've needed to come up with an idea to meet a deadline, and no idea came. If you have trouble coming up with ideas, you shouldn't be in creative work.
One of my dad's closest friends, Jerry Sherrow, is a very funny, quick witted guy. Once my dad asked him how he came up with all of those funny things to say, and he said, "Nelson, I don't say half of the things I think of." That's what it's like being a creative type, especially in comedy. More jokes occur to you than you should say out loud. I've gotten myself in trouble many times by blurting out a joke without thinking.
But there are such things as dry spells too. I've mentioned before that I have six albums of original music out, but my last full album release was in 2009. I've been asking myself if I'd like to put out one more album, but I have no ideas, and no motivation. What I'm motivated to do is write this journal. I told a friend last week that I feel like I'm retiring as a musician and beginning a new career as a writer. I have very little enthusiasm for the musical projects I have going right now, but I can't wait to write my next blog post. If I have an idea that I'm excited about, that is.
I've had some very meaningful conversations with friends lately. Some are ongoing. I reconnected yesterday with someone who is as dear to me as just about anyone I can think of. She had no clue about my condition, which made our conversation a difficult one, but it means the world to me to bring her into this circle. One day soon, I want to talk about her and her family, and the impact they've had on my life.
I got a call from my oncologist's office yesterday. He discussed my case with the board of experts that I told you about in my post, "A Strategy." On the 24th, I meet with a radiation oncologist to discuss possible radiation treatments. On March 1st, I'll meet with my oncologist again, get my next Lupron shot, and we'll decide how to proceed from there.
After that appointment, I should have a clearer picture of what the future looks like. I may have a prognosis at that time. If I do, I'll share it with you. And I won't wait until I have a catchy idea before I do.