Shhh! Eat.

Shhh! Eat. That's what I heard a few times during dinner last night. Of course, it was my wife giving me that helpful instruction. We were having dinner at a nearby restaurant with friends, and I got to talking and forgot to eat. I know that shocks all of you, but talking is more important than eating is to me right now. But I am eating! I'm still hovering around 127. So every time I would stop eating to talk, I got that response. Shhh! Eat. I did as I was told. There's a reason I've stayed married for 38 years. I know what's good for me.

I was at the vet for about two and a half hours yesterday with our dog. My appointment was at 11, and I didn't leave until about 1:45. I had a bunch of errands to run, so I missed my opportunity to have my protein shake for lunch. So I did something really awful. I stopped at a Wendy's and got a hamburger and fries and ate them while I drove. I used to do that all the time, and now I have a hard time believing I ever ate that way. I used to jokingly say that drive-thru windows were what made America great. In America, you can eat a meal, and not even stop driving! But I eventually realized that's no way to live. Watch the documentary Supersize Me. You may never buy a fast food burger again. But I needed the calories, and I couldn't wait until I got home. And I didn't lose any weight yesterday, so mission accomplished.

In the end, it didn't bother me. I didn't get heartburn from it or anything, probably because I ate it early enough in the day. Have I mentioned that my wife and I have not eaten red meat for many years? She stopped eating beef in the 80's, and I dragged my feet all the way to 2001 or so. When you stop eating beef, your body loses the enzymes that break beef down. You lose the ability to digest it. So if I would eat more beef, say, than you'd typically get in a serving of spaghetti sauce, it would upset my stomach, give me heartburn, and make it impossible for me to sleep. About a year and a half ago, however, I decided that I wanted to reintegrate beef into my diet occasionally, just so I have the option of eating a burger when that's the best choice. And many times it is. Backyard barbecues, ball games, etc. I do love a good burger. I don't miss steak or roast beef, but I miss burgers. Just not fast food burgers. Ugh. Fast food is poison.

But the good news is, the Lupron effects are fading. I feel hungry more often now, so when I left the vet, and felt hunger pangs, I made sure to stop and get something to eat. Before my diagnosis, I would have waited till I got home and had a cookie or something. I still have trouble stuffing myself, but it's good that I feel hungry more often.

I met my wife and our friends at the restaurant last night, so we drove home separately. It was cold, and as I got in the car, I started shivering. But it wasn't debilitating at all, it felt more normal. I actually buckled up and started driving, and got to the first stoplight before I realized I was shivering, but still felt like I could drive. That was a good moment! It's terrible feeling like you can't go out and do things because it's cold.

The numbness is fading somewhat, but it's still there. I do feel a little more normal every day. Probably about the time I feel really good, it'll be time for my next shot.

So now you all know what to say when I go on too long with these journal entries. Shhh! Eat.